“It went way too fast!” That’s what my boys are currently saying about their summer vacation. I agree wholeheartedly with them. I’m almost in mourning over the fact that they’re starting 5th and 8th grade. The first day of school each year comes with a bunch of mixed emotions for me. This is even more so now because as they get older it gets harder for me to let them go a little more and a little more. Parenting is the most brutal, painful, most rewarding, most sentimental (for me at least) thing I’ve ever done. I’ve always taken their pictures on the first day of school every fall. Looking back at them over time, especially now (and again, for me b/c I’m such an emotional, sentimental sap), makes me both proud and profoundly sad, simultaneously. I hate feeling sad. I hate it probably more than most people, specifically men my age. It sticks with me too long. It makes me physically ill, too. Stomach aches, cramps, headaches, a sense of disattachment, it’s all pretty brutal.
Top off all the stress, reminders, and attempts to get a “routine” flowing once again for two boys who are used to staying up *late,* sleeping in very late, and not changing out of their pajamas – I discovered a nice, big, fat nail firmly inserted into one of my car’s tires. I guess that I’m “happy” that I saw this today instead of tomorrow morning when we were on the way to the first day of school. That probably would’ve sucked. Although, as of right now, my fix has just been to put more air into the tire and be careful with it because there’s no steady/quick escape of air, so I can manage for a day or so. The lovely gentlemen at the tire shop told me that, due to the nature of the puncture, they are not able to simply patch this hole. Yeah, a whole new tire. I’m planning on getting a second opinion on that theory, though.
So anyway, here we go! The 2015/16 school year has officially begun. My babies are now in 5th and 8th grade and I just CANNOT believe that fact. As a matter of fact, that fact has been tearing at my heart for the last few weeks. Time is precious, and it is not plentiful no matter what anyone says. I’ll be taking my annual “first day of school” pictures in the morning, then I’ll be dropping them off at school. Then on my way home – I will put my hand to my chest, feel my heartache, and start to choke back tears. At this, I can almost guarantee, I will fail. I’ll hide behind my sunglasses and tinted windows and hope nobody sees me. There’s a tiny bit of relief in knowing that I’m not the only sap who will be choking up though.
Fall is officially here! Well, sorta. Almost. Routines are back, and with them football, school, crisp weather(!), pumpkin-everything, hot coffee, spice, chili, and seasonal beers. My favorite time of year, without a doubt! Yes, I’ll horribly miss *not* hearing that damned alarm every morning at 6am – but alas, it build character right?
Now I have to go crap the whip and attempt to get these kids in line, cleaned up, and in bed at a decent time tonight. So with that we begin another school year. I don’t like change, I don’t like watching my boys grow up so fast, I don’t like waking up early, but I know that the structure is needed and that vacation has to end eventually. **sigh.** Let’s get on it.